Writers Jennifer and Tristram Loveliballs’ acrimonious divorce has long had the press frothing at the mouth in response to wild rumours of key parties, dodgy salsa intrigues and cabana boy lovers.
Now both authors have reportedly written their version in thinly veiled fictional accounts. Far from clearing the air, the writer’s refusal to admit to any biographical content has only served to muddy the waters even more.
We spoke to the agent representing the two authors, Basil Baldworth.
Q: Isn’t your continuing to represent both parties a conflict of interests?
BB: Not at all. I’ve known Jen and Tris for years. I was at their son’s Barmitzvah. Besides, they both know my first loyalty is to the agency.
(Gives shark-like grin)
Q: How would you describe your client’s latest works?
BB: Both Lovliballs… (pauses while assistant whispers something to him) sorry, Ms. Keunt wishes to be known by her maiden name from now on. Both clients have written searing work(s) of emotional honesty.
Q: Emotional honesty? Is there any truth to the rumours that these accounts are stark representations of their marriage?
BB: I would be a terrible agent if I either confirmed or denied that. I will say that, like all writers, they drew inspiration from their own lives…
Q: Like the part where ‘Blistram’ is caught by ‘Juniper’ in a three-way with two doctoral students and their son’s Norwegian au pair?
BB: (Spreads hands eloquently)
Q: Or when ‘Blistram’ reads ‘Juniper’s’ emails and discovers that he is not the father of their son, and that, in fact, ‘Juniper’s’ agent ‘Harry Hairworthy’ is the boy’s true father?
BB: What? Where did you…?!
Q: Advance copies of Tristram’s book were sent out to the press by his new agent Jerry Mills of Mills, Boone and Crumble.
Unfortunately, Mr Baldworth was unavailable for further comment.
Oh The Lies by Tristram Lovliballs and It was Shaped like a Question Mark by Jennifer Keunt are out in bookshops and online from Monday.