Artie Gimlet prepares for a night of light entertainment
Playwright Artie Gimlet’s new play, ‘Pretension’ has had fans flocking to the theatres.
“Everyone is hungry for irony these days. They’ll do anything to get a fix. Pretension is the perfect high for our generation of sneery scenesters who speak in dead sentences.”
Gimlet’s over-elaborate dialogue is delivered in a purposefully deadpan and uninterested tone, as the actors try on an endless series of Urban Outfitters clothing. Gimlet himself heckles them relentlessly from the orchestra pit, screaming, “Where is the music?!”
Actor Todd Winklebun spoke to us about developing the play.
TW: At first it was pretty disconcerting. Especially when my mom joined Artie in ‘the pit of shame.’ Artie was pleased that she so deeply understood the concept but there’s a part of me that thinks she was still pissed about that time I trashed her car.
Q: Do you think our generation has, and will, spawn a society of heartless automatons who are only as real as their latest Twizler update?
TW: Um, I’m not sure how to respond to that. There are light hearted moments in the play. When my character tries on his seventh pair of low crotch skinny jeans he says, “I’ve seen things.” I like to think that whatever they were they were, they were nice things.
Justin Bieber with Rihanna - the 3 boxes he's standing on just out of shot
Hundreds of Biebettes were cast into despair amidst recent revelations that the pop behemoth is actually more of a midget.
The pint-sized singer and his team have been using a complex series of mirrors to create the illusion of height.
“Even then they only managed to make him seem 5.5 ft,” said celebrity insider, Mink Muffty. “They’ve closely monitored his TV appearances using step ladders and boxes, and at live performances people just thought he was further away than he was. Much further away. With teeny, tiny doll-like dancers behind him.”
Worse news was to come. The star, thought to be pre-pubescent, is actually 35-years-old.
“He uses the same special effects make-up team as George Lucas with the Star Wars movies. I bet you thought Anakin Skywalker was a 7-year-old. Guess again,” said Muffty.
As legions of young women tore their hair and rended their garments, the unrepentant Bieber issued a defiant statement.
“I regret nothing. In fact, I’m glad the truth is out. And ladies, I can still reach the important stuff. Come to Daddy!”
“I can’t believe I used to think that was cute,” said Muffty.