(Ep. 1 of the ‘Dammit Jane’ series)
DETECTIVE LARRY ‘COP ON THE EDGE’ COTE (COTE): Dammit Jane! I must have missed something.
JANE: Have you looked through all the evidence?
COTE: Dammit Jane! Of course I have.
JANE: Even the balled up papers on your desk?
COTE: YES.
JANE: The old restaurant receipts? The hollowed out statuettes? That thing stuck to the bottom of your shoe?
COTE: YES, dammit, YES! [Breathes out heavily through his nose] Wait.
JANE: I told you that statuette was suspiciously light.
COTE: Dammit Jane! But the butler swore it was a gift from his mother…JANE! I’ve been such a fool.
JANE: Well…check it first.
[COTE Smashes statuette against the wall. A bag of diamonds falls at his feet]
COTE: I FOUND THE DUCHESS’ DIAMONDS JANE! JANE! I FOUND THEM!
JANE: So, will that be ham and cheese or a BLT for lunch?
COTE: Dammit Jane… you know I don’t eat ham!!
FIN
zeitgeistschadenfreude 